Caution; the following is not a story for the weak-hearted, and is not made up. It may be best if you skip over this, but I typed it and debated sharing, but here goes nothing...
1) Amazing Grace
This is the reason I was re-born as God’s daughter. Amazing Grace: the horse, the song, and the true meaning… Once upon a time there was a little girl, her parents were miles apart, and all she had was her two older brothers, and the only thing that brought a terrifying joy to her life? Gracie [pedigreed as Amazing Grace]. As the years passed and this little girl grew up, things changed: Gracie grew up and had her own foal, Almond, and the girl acquired another horse called Little Joe. Joe was stubborn, and trained this little girl, but it cannot be compared to the way that Gracie trained her. See, Amazing Grace LOVED that little girl. No matter how many times the girl was scared, or would harm or spook her horse, Amazing Grace would rescue her, and keep her safe. One day the girl fell in front of Gracie, and spooked her. All that was seen were hooves flying powerfully above her. Eyes closed and helpless, the thundering shake of the ground and the pounding of hooves told the girl she was unharmed. Gracie had loved, and as scared as she was, she spun to land beside the girl instead of on her. Many more times did Gracie go against nature to protect that little girl. See, the girl was scared of the one animal that loved her more than the rest because she didn’t know. As the girl and her horse slowly grew, and trained each other with love and respect, the girl started to train Almond. Almond had the same respect for the girl, but maybe not so much the same love. That girl learned more from the animals that unconditionally loved her than anything else in life. August 14, 2008.. that fateful day. The little girl had grown into a young lady, and had a future planned out with her horses. It was her birthday when she got the call. “Where are your halters? Almonds down and Lees’ horse is dead.” She got to her dads house with a broken heart, but had to tend to Joe and Gracie. The vet had given them colic shots and said to keep them on their feet.
August 17, 2008; “Why haven’t you checked on Joe?!?!” she was startled by her dad as she was reading at the table. They went out and haltered him and tried to make him stand. He couldn’t even lift his head far, but he tried. He tried because that girl asked, because she needed him to get up; “Joe, please get up Joe, please!” but he couldn’t. A different vet came out, and did a sensory test. Joe had lost all of the nerves on his skin except for directly around the eye, and in the middle of his ribs. As his head rested in the girls lap, she gently stroked him, thanked him, and apologized. If she stopped to wipe her eyes, Joe moved to her touch and watched her with his wise eyes. He was scared, uncomfortable, and sad. Sad that he couldn’t just get up and do what she asked. As they sat there like that, she grew more and more lost, and he fell into a peaceful state. His eyes said he was happy, life was good, and he knew she loved him. He had no doubt. At last her dad spoke, “you need to go check on Grace. I don’t know how long he’ll be in this state, so you have to let him go. I’ll take care of it. Show the doc where Grace is… Go!”. The girls stood, and with the last pat of her hands, she said, “I love you Joe, goodbye, thanks”. And she went. The last time she saw him, he was in the bucket of a skidster, being carried to his final resting spot, and a thin trail of blood staining the ground behind the skidster.
Gracie was standing, and swaying. It looked as if she could’ve been floundering. She’d sit back on her hind legs in order to get off and feel her front ones. The doc did some test, and tried. He really tried. He’d call, or swing by and check on her. A couple days later, Gracie was down, and she couldn’t get up. They tried everything, and she tried her best, even more so than Joe. She wasn’t ready to disappoint, but there was a point where nothing else could be tried. Around then, everyone was suggesting that the girl let her go. That it wasn’t fair to keep her in misery. But it wasn’t fair to give up. It wasn’t fair to give up on Amazing Grace. She’d done everything for the girl, and the girl was bound to do the same in return. Day and night, Gracie would kick and paw. She’d try everything to stand on her own. As the next day came around, the girl and her father rolled Gracie to the opposite side so the blood wouldn’t clot. The horse had tried so hard that she’d rubbed her hair off on the straw covered concrete, and was down to her skin on her flank, shoulder, and around her eye. The first roll, and the girl cried. She was scared to see any more. She was growing weaker, but wouldn’t cave to putting Gracie down. She wouldn’t. Little bits of water and food were given as carefully as possible. Iodine was used on the flesh of the horse, and an IV was used to help and administer as many drugs as they could safely try. It wasn’t enough. August 21, 2008 and Gracie was dead. It was the first day of the fair where the girl was working, and nobody got home to water grace. The girl walked in and found her there, covered in flies, eyes open with a glassy tint to them, and the girl wept… Maybe it was bound to happen, but maybe it was somebodies fault. In a way, it was the girls’ fault mostly, and a little bit her dads, and even more so a few strangers looking to save some money. See, the strangers had mowed yards and bagged the grass. Lazily, they’d dumbed the fermented grass into the horses pasture. The girl and her father had no idea it would have that effect, but it did, and they’re at fault. Maybe if somebody had gotten home to water Gracie while she was down, maybe she’d still be okay. We’ll never know.
Through this experience, I have found God. January 8, 2010 in the high school youth room at the Farm Loop Christian Church off of Farm Loop rd. in Palmer Alaska was where it happened. See, I had been attending in order to “hang-out” with my friend Crystal LaBarge, and ended with more. I was a pen away from giving Joe to her. As soon as Crystal would've set up a pen, he would have been hers.. The events didn’t just affect me, but I had to explain it to everyone else. That night, everyone had just gotten back from a winter retreat I hadn’t attended, and God was around! I started Crying, and couldn’t stop. I kept asking; “WHY? WHY ME? WHY GRACIE, OR ALMOND, OR JOE?! WHY ALL THREE?!” was all that kept running through my head. I still, to this day haven’t really got an answer, or maybe just not the one I’m looking for… All the sudden, a member of the group sang the chorus of Amazing Grace, and I knew... “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.” The answer I don’t want to believe… He did all of that just so I could find Him!! Knowing what I know today, he felt my pain and anguish and did that because he loved me so much he had to make a point.. I wish I wasn’t so blind sometimes..
What does “Amazing Grace” mean coming from God? Definition; Grace - 1) Mercy; Clemency; Pardon: an act of Grace. 2) The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God
Most people with some sort of Christian faith or religion, have the Grace of God all wrong. I didn't grow up in a religious house hold. Occasionally as a little girl I remember attending church on big events such as Easter, but no more. However, I was raised to believe that in order to get into heaven, or for God to love me I had to be the perfect child without sin, and I knew that, I was not. When I started attending my current church, I learned that a lot of my perceptions on religion were wrong. God sent his only begotten son to die on the cross in order to forgive the sins of the flesh that people do EVERYDAY. I accepted Jesus Christ into my life, but yet until reading The Ragamuffin Gospel By Brennan Manning, I still didn't totally understand God's Grace.
Today, the American church "accepts grace in theory, but denies it in practice". Jesus dined with sinners and tax collectors. To dine with somebody means to become friends with them, and in His case, to forgive them of their sins. Religious people couldn't understand why he would to this, or for what purpose. All throughout the Book of Luke, Jesus dines with all kinds of sinners, and would place EVERYBODY on the same level. No matter their society ranking or wealth. God LOVES us all the same, and because of his Grace, we are all the same. "The church is not a museum for saints, but a hospital for sinners. (Morton Kelsey)" It is a place for everybody to come, remove their false coverings they place on for the rest of the world, admit they have sinned, and feel the grace of God as they are forgiven. A man who understands Grace, understands that "Once saved, Not always saved". He understands that you will never be perfect and GOD STILL LOVES YOU and you are forgiven BECAUSE OF HIS GRACE!!! Salvation is by grace through faith. Meaning that if you have faith, God has grace, and you will be saved. People need to have faith, not that he exists, but through Trusting Him.
The most famous saying I heard in church as a child was; "God loves good little children." Well geez, at that rate he would always hate me... and almost every church I have seen or participated in is living in the house of FEAR and not in the house of LOVE. They use things such as; "If you sin once today, God will never forgive you, and won't forget." instead of; "God loves you, if you sin, discuss it with him, and move on." To many people focus on what humans do (the sins) instead of what God does (the Grace). We are humans, mortal, God is amazing and all powerful. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works lest anyone should boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9).
God gave us a mind to shape ideas and a heart to beat with love. He gave EVERYONE grace, so before you judge those around you, think.. If Jesus preferred to dine with them instead of the wealthy, obviously they realized the gift of grace and accepted it, and because they know Gods grace and love, they are ahead of myself.
This is how a song, and more importantly, TWO words have impacted my life! AMAZING GRACE!!
